our lives are made up of chapters, sections, tales and passages that when pieced together write the story that is uniquely our own. some chapters end, and we gladly close them up and turn the page. others become such a part of our story that are woven into every sentence and paragraph that follows. it shifts our story; even in the slightest of ways. one thing is certain, we are never the same as before that chapter unfolded.
if you knew of someone who was under 30 and had been taking medication for nearly half her life, would you judge her? place shame on her? stigmatize her? assume she's lazy or using pills to solve her problems? what if i added that she graduated with her bachelors at the top of her class. that she turned a summer internship into a career she's continually rising at years later. that she loves public speaking and has taught numerous classes and sessions.
spoiler alert: that girl is me. i have been taking medication for 11 years and this is my part of my story.
"but people are oceans... you cannot know them by their surface." // beau taplin
i was first diagnosed with a mental illness in 2005 and soon began on my medication journey. beginning to memorize the patient health and generalized anxiety disorder questionnaire that preceded each appointment; learning the differences between psychiatrists and psychologists (hint: psychiatrists focus on medication management and psychologists focus on therapy to treat emotional and mental suffering); understanding dosages, side effects and the wonderful horror of trial and error and most importantly that you need to be the best advocate possible for yourself.
there are stigmas, stereotypes, assumptions and varying viewpoints when it comes to medication; but one thing i know to be true, medication is the right path for me. because of it my life has shifted dramatically. because of it i feel like i am capable to participate with the rest of the world. because of it the thought of exploring other means of recovery such as exercise, meditation, therapy or coloring actually feel within the realm of possibility.
lexapro (escitalopram), klonopin (clonazepam), celexa (citalopram), effexor XR (venlafaxine), ambien (zolpidem), zoloft (sertraline), trazodone (oleptro), prozac (fluoxetine)
there are many ingredients in the medication that i take, but i can tell you with certainty that shame is not one of them. and neither is stigma. i'll leave you with my commentary on some common misconceptions and stigmas around medication.
- deciding to take medication is not an act of weakness - it's a beautiful act of bravery for acknowledging that you can't do it on your own. and you don't have to.
- medication is not a fix. you can't just take it and change nothing else in your life and expect it to work wonders. it's a tool in your toolbox to make trying some other methods begin to feel possible. you have to want to get better, a pill will not do it for you.
- medication is not one size fits all. what worked wonders for your best friend, your sister, your co-worker may not be a good fit at all for you. keep a journal of your experiences and reactions and be brutally honest with your health care professional. as i mentioned, i'm 11 years in and still trying to find the best mix for me.
- pain you can't see is still real. treatment and medication for psychical ailments are seen as the obvious method of healing. this same logic needs to be applied to mental illnesses.
- medication is not a "happy pill": rough days will still happen, struggles will still exist, your illness is still very real - but hopefully medication makes handling those things a little easier.
don't feel like you need to go through this alone.
you are worthy and you are enough.
xoxo
